What I learned from being a Bride-to-be

Photo credit: zani&DuWayne

I haven’t shared much about my wedding planning process. Truth be told, given my career as a bridal stylist and being involved in the wedding industry, I didn’t want to use my wedding as a way to promote my business or work. Even with everyone telling me, “You should post on social media everything you’re doing!” “It’s a great way to gain followers!” I decided to keep this part of my life private. I’m working with some of the most talented creatives for my wedding, and I’m happy to share their work and promote all the amazing things they're doing. I’m so grateful to have this opportunity to work closely with all my friends.

That said, if you’ve read a few of my previous blog posts, you’ll see that I’ve shared a bit about being a bride-to-be. It’s meant more to me to share my feelings and emotional journey than the aesthetic or fashion of the wedding. As a bridal stylist, I’m on the outside looking in. I guide brides to find the gown that makes them feel their very best. As an indirect outcome, I also see the stress and overwhelming feelings they have while planning. I’ve always given the best advice and guidance I could when a bride felt a certain way, but now, being in the bride driver’s seat, it’s a different experience. I’m now feeling all the feelings I witnessed with my brides. I’m no longer just compassionate to their emotions, but now sympathetic to them. I understand the true internal feelings they have, as I’ve experienced them too. This has given me a whole new understanding and approach to my brides. Feeling what they say they’re feeling has deepened my understanding of the entire wedding planning and styling process. This isn’t to say I wasn’t good at advising brides before, but now I can offer them a completely different perspective on the same issues I’ve seen time and time again! It’s almost like a rebirth as a bridal stylist.

The technique and process of styling and consulting brides on the right gown haven’t changed. It’s more about the side conversations. Brides share so much with me about how they’re feeling regarding many aspects of the wedding that sometimes I become more of an emotional confidant or “wedding life coach.” All they want is someone to lay out all their concerns, anxieties, or fears about the whole event without facing backlash or judgment from loved ones, or anyone brushing off their feelings as just nerves.

I get it now! I feel all the things they’re feeling and have a seat at the table to share. Brides aren’t necessarily scared of the marriage part or who they’re marrying. It’s all the stuff leading up to it: the constant need to make sure everyone is happy with your decisions, feeling guilty for spending so much money for just one day, making sure you look your absolute best, and waiting for the day until you can eat a bagel again! Well, I’m still eating bagels—just not as many.

Over the last 10 months of my engagement, I cried every time we went to Sunday mass for two months knowing I was going to walk down that aisle to my love, and I became so overwhelmed with emotion. I felt guilty for selecting a venue and my parents paying for it. And I was so overjoyed and speechless to see so many of my favorite people all together to celebrate me at my bridal shower. I had to walk in with my fiancé because I was so nervous going in alone. Me, scared to be in the limelight? Who would’ve thought?! It’s like my body just invented a whole new series of emotions I never knew I had.

I’m sharing all of this to say that planning a wedding for me hasn’t been about learning new tips and tricks to share with my audience and brides, but more about saying, “I understand you, girl, and I got you.” Feel all the things you’re feeling and ride it out. Sometimes the best way to get past something is to simply go through it. I’ll see you on the other side!